It has been a while since I have posted anything, maybe too long. But I try not to waste your time unless I have something to say. And then hopefully it’s not considered wasted. I thought I would give a little update for those of you who have known me for a long time.
Those who know me, know better, but there are those that would insinuate that since I have not remarried, Bea & I must not have had a good relationship. That is quite the contrary. Neither of us were perfect and we sometimes had our differences but what we had in common was much greater than our differences and there was a lot of joy in our lives. But being a mature adult and having witnessed many marriages that took place soon after a loss, whether the loss was by death or by divorce it was still a loss. I have witnessed those that made that decision way too soon because they were looking for a replacement for what they had lost. When you are looking for a replacement of anything that you have lost, you cannot do so without a lot of comparison. I did not and do not feel that it is doing justice to the other party to be continually comparing. I wanted time to get over my loss so that I could except a potential new relationship strictly on the basis of the qualities of that person.
I have not been walking around with blinders on, however it was considerable time before I actually was able to consider the thought that possibly God had another soulmate available for me.
I prepared a profile which included parts of my life and joined a dating website called Christian Mingles. I would not necessarily recommend it unless you are prepared to be bombarded and willing to weed out the scammers. But if you’re careful there are nice people out there that have had similar losses in their lives. I did meet someone though it took me quite a while to pull her into conversation. 🙂
Those who know me know that I am sanguine and do not know a stranger. They’re just a friend that I’ve not yet met. This lady on the other hand had joined recently, after the loss of her husband over two years before, but was extremely cautious therefore created an interesting challenge from my perspective to get to know her.
I was however up to the challenge of getting this lady into conversation. After what seemed like an eternity of short conversations consisting of how was your week, my next step was to get her into actual texting or talking. Neither of us got on Christian Mingles website very often so when I would leave a note for her it might be a week before I got a response. I would respond and it may be another week before I would hear back from her. At one point I told her that snail mail was faster than that. I had sent her my phone number and told her whenever she was ready, she was welcome to text me. And if she needed references, I would be happy to supply those also.
Once we actually started texting so I got response back quickly, we soon had our first video chat. This time it was to confirm to me that who I was talking to was indeed the same one whose pictures I was looking at. As I said, I had already been scammed and was no longer trusting photos until I’d had a video chat. However, I should have known by her extreme caution that she was real.
Our first face to face visit was going to be the end of March when I had a gym Masters trip to Carolina for which I would be driving the Southern Adventist University bus. Wow, that was still several weeks off. Then I received a call from the University asking if I would take a group from the music department over to Carolina’s on a music tour the first weekend of March. I jumped on that and then called her and told her I was headed her Direction four weeks earlier if she was ready to meet in person. She came to the concert Friday night then back Sabbath and we enjoyed the time together. Apparently, I did or said something right because she had a week off coming up and I asked her if she wanted to go camping, she said yes, she loved the out of doors. We did a week-long Overland trip along the Tennessee-Carolina border up in the Blue Ridge mountains.
We enjoyed time just walking along the streams, talking over our past and what we were looking for in our futures. We both share the same convictions of the nearness of our Lord’s return. We enjoyed time just reading and studying together, particularly on the Sabbath that we spent together. Before that week was over, we both pretty much knew where our relationship was headed.
There were so many things that we had both done prior to beginning our search for our “right person”, for the rest of our lives, that it was obvious we were both reading from the same playbook. The text that we were holding up to God as our expectation of His leading were identical. There were so many things that happened that it was phenomenal.
When the fourth weekend of March arrived that was initially to have been our first meeting, we had already done a concert trip together, camping trip together, and were discussing mission trips.
So, by the time we were going to be having our first meeting, I was ready to ask her to spend her life with me.
There are those who would say, that it happened way too fast. But in response I’m going to say the same thing I did to friends when I got married the first time 50 years ago. It is important first that you know what you’re looking for. Because only once you know what you’re looking for, can you recognize it when you find it. And once you find it, it’s time to stop looking.
That philosophy and viewpoint work for me the first time as Beatrice and I were married for almost 50 years before she passed away. She was my life for all those years and will always be in my heart as she is my past. But that does not change the fact the life for me goes on. I have made the decision and I believe without a doubt that it is in the Lord’s leading that I have met and been blessed twice in one lifetime.
Yes, I am posting this for my friends and for Bea’s friends because in a very real way I would never have reached the point that I am at today without Bea’s and my journey together. With all our faults, we were in a very real way, each other’s strength. So, it is still very much part of her Legacy as I continue on in my journey. I pray that those of you who know me, will understand and celebrate my newfound joy and love with me.
My newfound joy and love’s name is Kay. She is a teacher and shares a love for kids and working with youth. She is “real”, nothing superficial about her, easy to get to know, easy to love. There is no doubt in my mind that you are going to love her. We both have spent much time in prayer about this, before we meet and since. We feel God is leading in this and feel that we will not only be a strength to each other, but to God’s work in the coming days. Kay and I will be married the second Sunday of June, 2022. We ask for your prayers as we move forward with plans to join our lives and ministry.
Those that know me and would like to attend the wedding should drop me a text with your address and I will send an invitation along with the details.
